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Caroline Brown

Skellingthorpe

Lincoln LN6 5UB

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057.jpgWater

We are like water moving over

Rocks, weeds and land,

Finding our way to flow,

Cutting gullies,

Sculpting our earth

As we are shaped

And driven by it.

We long to stop,

To settle in a quiet pond

But after time stagnation grows

So motion is vital to our growth

movement means a perpetual journey

of discovery, loss and renewal of self.

When we embrace our incompleteness

We might feel all ground as home

And be undeterred by dips and shadows.

Dwelling in a Small World

Today I have decided to live in a small world. Just for today, and may be tomorrow too. Withdraw from the noisy haste of normal life and, hermit-like, retire to a quieter space. You see my life has been manic for months, fraught with trying to achieve, to gain, to maintain, to love and be loved. And things - little things that I rely on - have gone wrong and held me back, kept me unable to pursue, left me running on the spot. First it was my computer hard drive that crashed, then my car broke down, and broke down and kept breaking down. And then the central heating and hot water went. It all left me feeling tired and weary. Then, over the weekend, the sniffles came and that feeling in my head, nose and throat that something is on its way, something viral, which will curb my enthusiasm for life for a few days. That will prevent me reaching out to climb proverbial mountains, swim through choppy streams and abseil from high buildings. That will bolt the doors to trying to achieve for a while. I could feel angry at this. Frustrated. I could rail against it: this thing that is stopping my usual relentless activity. Or I could welcome it as a chance to stop. A chance to step back from the hurly burly of the main-stream, to step back and take a ring-side seat. Inhabit a smaller world for a while. So I have taken the key from this timely jailer and hearing the hush, the stillness, the space to rest, I made the decision to gently close the door to this quiet cell. I will enjoy today, the chance to dwell in a small world.